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April 2020, my Mother passed from a long term illness. I was prepared,but sad. What happened the next day forever changed my life. Her husband of many years decided to take a gun and shoot my two younger twin sisters. He then tried to shoot my sisters husband who at this point is over her in shock. He looks up and the gun is right in his face. He runs out the house. My Mother's husband then turned the gun on himself. My other sister managed to make it outside too only to passed in the garage from cardiac arrest. They were only 48 years old. Now I’m lost. I no longer have that foundation I once knew and took for granted. You know, the one where you can call on them day or night. Most days I take a second at a time. I can’t fathom any further. Im traumatized. My children are traumatized. The void is heart wrenching. The pain is unbearable. People turn on you and you’re left with no support system. The loneliness is real, the silence is loud. I’m not sure that I’ll ever be whole.